Friday, October 9, 2009

Hide In Youe Eyes; Mirrors Tell the Worst Lies

Why am I such a hypocrite? I feel like I'm always trying to identify and correct my flaws, but I do nothing about them. But by "flaws" I don't mean flaws like the scar on my cheek or my unevenly tweezed eyebrows.
I always tell myself that I need to get up and run, otherwise I'll be totally out of shape for track come November. I always tell myself to eat something, because that's how I'll stay healthy and not become an anorexic. I always tell myself to not worry about my looks so much, and how my waist size is perfectly fine the way it is. I try to stop lying. I always promise myself to get home and study the second I walk through the door. I tell myself to get over him. I want to, but why can't I?
When I'm stressed I tell myself to get just lie down and really listen to music. To just close my eyes and let my heart keep in tempo with the beat; to let the layers of guitar and drums and voices and computer-generated sounds flow through my veins is to be in pure ecstasy. Listening to music is something I can do without a second thought. And writing. Practice. Author. Photography. Yeah...
On a more formal note, I just felt the need to share with you guys that I always feel sad when I find out that a guy likes me... Why is this? I dunno, I feel like I should be happier or a little more confident or something. Instead, I just feel I'm walking around with a heavy heart and some sort of burden on my shoulders. It's odd.
Another random thing; I bet you guys (I actually have followers now, so I have to stop calling all of the readers "imaginary" :D) didn't know that I write songs, now. It's true. I might post one of 'em one of these days. I really want to learn how to play guitar. That would be cool to have a guitar accompany my lyrics.
I just took a chem lest the last period of the day. It really drained me of all of my enthusiasm for today. It was easier than I expected, though. Meh.
I like blogging. Why did I stop? It's a nice way to practice my writing and organize my thoughts.

HEY YOU. I love you. Have a nice three-day weekend. :)

2 amusing musings:

Grace said...

You shouldn't stop blogging!

Kay said...

Haha thanks :)
But for some reason I stopped 9 months ago...
I'm happy to be starting up again, though! :D

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