Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I be[lie]ve in miracles, deep inside my soul

I feel like ew. Update: "ew" is now listed as a noun. And a legitimate word. Deal.

I feel like such a mean person. You know how you always hear of abusive parents? Abusive boyfriends (don't say that I'm being stereotypical... statistics don't lie)? Yeah, I'm an abusive child. My mom tells me often whenever we're in a screaming match, which happens more often than never.

"You are an ABUSIVE CHILD!"

I don't want to be. I don't mean to be. It's those little elves inside my head. I swear. I don't like having fights like this.

Or maybe it's just that I have a short temper. You can't always blow off steam by yelling into a pillow or counting to ten, you know. Sometimes it's just too late and you've already done something you regret. And then you realize how good it feels and can't stop. All the stress from school, finals, friends, and just plain old irrational anger comes barreling out. It's just not fair. Not to anybody.

And the worst part? They welcome you back with open arms. The wrong side of the argument ends up apologizing, and it's just not right. All you can manage to croak out is, "no--I don't deserve--I'm not--"'

Just had to get that off of my chest, lovelies.

Yeah, don't you absolutely love my irrelevant titles?

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