Sunday, June 27, 2010


This summer has started off wonderfully. And I've been doing a terrible job of keeping up with my blogs posts. Actually, I have a decent excuse this time. We lost electricity for 36 hours this past week: the aftermath of nasty bout of rain and thunder -- an alleged "tornado". There were stray branches and green leaves scattered everywhere, with the occasional tree that gave way and ended up blocking a road or crashing onto an unfortunate individual's rooftop. It was intense.
At 10:30 the night that we lost electricity, my dad urged my brother and I to go on a walk (going on a walk in the near-darkness isn't an uncommon thing for our family to do). Long story short, I ended up grabbing some chalk and half-blindly drawing in the full-moonlit street instead: fireflies, complex swirls, man-eating monsters and dinosaurs - you name it. My little brother joined in and wrote things like "Yankees rule!" or drew characters from the Super Mario Brothers games. Well, one thing to check off of my to-do list is complete.
I also went to Six Flags the day before yesterday, and that was a lot of fun. When my mom and my brother and I were going to validate our season passes, I caught sight of someone that had been on my hiking trip when I went to camp two summers ago. Unsure of if he recognized me or not, I stared at him until he looked up. That was probably a pretty awkward thing for me to do, considering he glanced up and quickly looked away. I doubt he recognized me at first, if at all. I have changed so much over the past year or so, and even now I bet I wouldn't be able to recognize myself in a crowd. I finally went up to him and asked if he went to Camp Jewell, as if I half expected that I was getting him mixed up with someone else. He smiled and nodded. At least it justified my staring at him... I think.
For the rest of the day my two best friends and I scampered around the park: occasionally going on rides but mostly waiting in seemingly endless queues. A lot of the time was also spent trying to convince my less-adventurous friend to go on some of the scarier roller coasters with us. Needless to say, she remained on a bench just outside the Batman ride, preferring to keep her dopamine levels low. Why on earth she wanted to be that way was beyond me, especially when the opportunity to feel so alive was right in front of her. Which leads me to say, I'm beginning to realize how much I crave controlled fear. The reason that individuals go on crazy roller coasters is the same reason that they watch scary movies: it allows them to get the rush of fear without actually harmfully affecting their well-being.


[By the way, I'm (gasp!) running out of / haven't recently come across any exemplary song recommendations. Care to share some good tunes with me?]

☀K☁

Wednesday, June 23, 2010










Here's some eye candy for ya. Happy Wednesday. Happy fucking summer.


☀K☁

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Sixteen. How does that word taste in your mouth?

Funny. As in awkward and out of place.

What about the word "summer"?

Sweet and well-earned. Less awkward.

How does that tie-dye shirt feel on your skin?

Nice. It was once-coarse-turned-soft by my wearing.

How does that thumping bass booster feel in your ears?

So, so good.

What's that piece of paper in your pocket?

A letter. A secret that isn't mine. A bit of someone's memories.

What did you do today?

I went to a Buddhist remembrance ceremony for Claire's dad. I pathetically concluded my exams. I took a peek into someone's old life. I commenced my summer goals. I watched a movie.

You're tired, aren't you?

You're assuming things. But yes.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


When you hold me
I feel better

Nothing is wasted
And life is worth living
Heaven is nowhere
Just look to the stars
There is a day
that is yours for embracing
Everything's nothing
And nothing is ours

Hot Chip - "I Feel Better"

☀K☁

Thursday, June 17, 2010


The smell of the summer air gives me butterflies.

My sanity has begun to leak out of my ears and create little multicolored puddles all over my textbooks.

The only possible cures I can think of include: Ritalin, four-hour naps, and an open window.

I'm trying.

Sunday, June 13, 2010




What force and strength
cannot get through,
I, with a gentle touch, can do;
And many in these twisted halls would stand,
Were I not a friend at hand.

I run more smooth than any rhyme,
I love to fall but cannot climb.
I tremble at each breath of air,
And yet can heaviest burdens bear.

Saturday, June 12, 2010


Would you shave your head if a family member asked you to because they had cancer?
Of course.

What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant?
Say, "oh shit, it must have been from all of that unprotected sex I've been having!" (not)

Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?
Nope.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Practically a pro.

Are you wasting your time on someone?
Exactly so.

Explain the last time you threw up.
I dry-heaved after a track race a month or two ago. Yuch.
Thank god I didn't actually throw up.

Last thing that made you cry:
I don't recall.

Do you have a bad temper?
Yeah, but a lot of people do.

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
Perhaps.

How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime?
Three or four.

How often do you think about suicide?
Not very often. It's incredibly selfish.

What is your deepest fear?
I don't know yet.

Do you REALLY love all your family?
Of course.

What do you want to believe in?
I don't want to believe in anything.

Do you have a secret crush on someone?
Ohhhhh secret crush! .............. but maybe. :p

Are you proud of who you are?
Not proud, but content.

Do you feel alone even in crowded rooms?
Only if the night's a perfect shade of dark blueeee.

What is the worst thing a person could do to you and still be forgiven?
We'll have to see.

You're dying in 10 seconds, what are your last words to your best friend?
Goodbye.

...to your worst enemy?
Don't really have one, thank goodness.

Do you care if people hate you?
I would rather have people not hate me than otherwise, thank you very much.

Freedom or safety?
Freedom.

Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names:
Sometimes I'm tempted to randomly hug you and bury my face into your chest. Even though I don't know you. But still.

Has a song ever made you cry?
Probably.

A book ever made you cry?
Only when Fred died in Harry Potter.

Is the world crumbling to pieces?
No, people just like to complain.

Name one moment where you couldn't control your rage:
I don't know.

Name one moment where you sincerely wanted to just die:
A few times, not to be named.

For the last one, just say anything you want, anything at all:
Seven. fucking. days.

All Time Low - "Six Feet Under the Stars"

[There's nothing like some good 'ol All Time Low to make you feel better]

☀K☁

Thursday, June 10, 2010


I like making new friends. I hope you don't forget about me.

***

Here are some interesting facts that I learned about boys today:

- They can see it in your eyes if you want them to kiss you (...supposedly).

- They wear underwear with their bathing suits because "the mesh is annoying and it's more convenient."

- They don't understand why they always have to be the first one to make a move.

- The order of things that they first notice about a girl's appearance are (in order): eyes, boobs, and ass.

- The average teenage boy masturbates 1-5 times a week, "depending on how much of a life they have." (...ew)

- Crying is a form of weakness to them. So man up and stop being a pussy.

I learned these thanks to an awkward anonymous exercise in health class. We wrote questions we had for the opposite sex on note cards and the girls and guys grouped together to answer them. It was... interesting.



I love babies. They're so full of possibilities.

I'm sure that Grace is full of great ones, even though she still has yet to be able to lift up her head on her own or see further than a foot in front of her.

***

Only eight more days. I can't believe it.

I kinda wish I had a better year, but oh well. Can't say I tried.

Breathe Electric - "One in a Million"

[This is definitely going to be an anthem for me this summer. It makes me want to start an impromptu dance party]

☀K☁

Sunday, June 6, 2010


I have been waiting for summer like crazy for the past... well, since last summer ended. And I really want to make this coming one awesome. Two of my closest friends are pretty much abandoning me for an entire month, starting June 27th. I'm trying to pretend that it's not bothering that they're going to camp without me, but I've been getting better and better at covering stuff like that up.

So... I came up with a list of stuff I want to do this summer. I know it's a little early [for me when I first wrote this, at least... which was probably early April] , but it's 90 degrees up here and it's already put me in full-on summer mode. So, here goes:

[] Watch an entire scary movie
[] ... (without closing my eyes at the scary parts)

[] Send Claire and Nicole care packages containing a bunch of care-package-y fun stuff
[] ... and get candy past the Pest Patrol package checkers (e.g. putting skittles or m&ms in an empty shampoo bottle)

[] Crawl onto my roof with a sleeping bag and pillow and watch the stars

[] Give a stranger a hug (as long as they don't look sketchy)

[] Give a famous person a hug (if they're famous to me, at least)

[] Go on a scary-looking amusement ride

[] Successfully learn how to drive a car
[] ...without crashing into anything

[] Scream until I lose my voice

[] Write something I'm actually proud of

[] Run all by myself
[] ... at least once a week

[] Catch a crab at the beach, even if it means getting pinched

[] Stay up all night

[] Spend a full 12 hours outside

[] Get into a crazy-ass mosh pit

[] Make a new friend

[] Play some new (or old) tunes on that flute that's been collecting dust in my room

[] Have a full-blown picnic

[] Spend a day in a museum

[] Go to the library, and check out any/every interesting-looking book in sight
[] and read every single one of them
[] and leave special little messages in each book for the next person to check out the book :]

[] Get all of my fingernails and toenails painted

[] Have a (very) deep conversation... (no, not with myself)

[] Try a weird, new food

[] Laugh so hard I feel like I got an all-out ab workout

[] Buy a piece of clothing at a thrift store
[] and actually wear it

[] Play in the rain, even especially if it means getting soaking wet

[] Go camping (and not just in my backyard, either)

[] Make a milkshake or smoothie

[] Learn some sign language (I used to know some... but I forgot, I suppose)

[] Get my ears pierced again (then again, this will be up to my parents :P )

[] Try a new hairdo
[] and wear it out in public

[] Wake up each day before noon (anyone who knows me knows what a terrible issue this is)

[] Create a mural with sidewalk chalk
[] OR draw random little chalk drawings on the street, as long as I'm careful not to get hit by a car or anything

[] Spend an entire day faking a random accent

[] Pick a bouquet of wild flowers and leave it on a random person's doorstep

[] Do something for the first time (I'm not sure what exactly, but there's always a first time for everything)

[] Well, this one's a secret. But I'll tell you if I accomplish it :]

So, that's it for now, I suppose. I'll update this post every time I think of a new one, and at the end of the summer I'll cross off all the ones I did. I encourage you guys to do this, too. You'll feel nice and accomplished when the summer's over. :]

Anywho, do tell me what you guys are up to this summer.

Confide - "Delete, Repeat"

☀K☁

P.S. Ariella and Mickey, I would love to comment on your blogs, but your layouts won't let me and it's making me sad :[

It's no biggie, I guess, but just in case you were wondering why you weren't getting any comments... :]

beautiful

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