Thursday, December 29, 2011

I used to think that if you had a tall enough ladder, you could climb to the moon.


Monday, December 26, 2011

The first time I visited a contemporary art museum, I was five years old. I don’t remember the name of the museum, but I do recall that museums were dull places. I was dreading a day with paintings of trees and mountains; I already knew their color and texture and how all would seamlessly blend into the other. I then realized how dazzlingly unpredictable art could be. That day, I saw robots crafted from kitchen utensils. Teapot spouts became elephant noses. Whisks became hands. The cold metal became character and life. The ordinary was given an intense personality. I learned that “things” aren’t what they seem, and that art was a road, maybe my road, to a richer understanding of life.

College essays make me sound so pretentious.


Sunday, December 25, 2011

Things here have changed a little bit.

But it's good. It's just what I needed. A little bit of privacy, and the past tucked away.

I hope everybody has had a wonderful holiday season. I had a good day today. Giving is lovely, getting is lovely, and the smell of pine needles and cinnamon is even lovelier.


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

You shouldn't expect anyone to look after you or understand you.

We really are all alone.


sorry my posts have been whiny

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Sometimes I think I have no pride. I let people step on me when they shouldn't, and I let it go because I don't want a fight.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

The truth hurts and I hate it.

Instead of protecting my feelings, you want to express the entire truth and it makes me want to cry.

I just want you to let me have my ignorance.


Sometimes it scares me how dramatically one person can pull me like a feather in the tide.


Monday, December 5, 2011

So I had a terrible start to a good weekend.

I called my dad sobbing on Friday afternoon, absolutely positive that I was going to get fired from my dumb job as a cashier at the local pharmacy. I've been continuing to make dumb mistakes and get berated, making me look incredibly careless. Thursday I had my "third strike" when I accidentally charged a customer 93 cents. I know. 93 cents. I cried and came home and just slept all afternoon.

Saturday, I got to see Will sing at his town's Christmas tree lighting, and I spent the rest of the evening with him.

On Sunday I went to see The Nutcracker Ballet in New York with my cousin and aunt. Everything was Christmas-y and wonderful. We went to a restaurant afterward where I had an awesome caramelized pear salad and scalloped potatoes. Also, the movie premiere of "War Horse" was beginning at Avery Fisher hall. There was a red carpet and paparazzi and everything (we even saw Steven Spielberg). We then came back on the train and ate frozen yogurt from 16 Handles :)

But I guess the end was terrible too, because I'm sitting in bed and I feel miserably ill. Ugh.


Friday, December 2, 2011

As she was berating me for fucking up again, I noticed a brown speck in her green eye.

I cried because I can't do anything right.

But he kissed my eyelids and told me it was going to be ok.

Maybe it will be, I don't know.



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