Saturday, May 26, 2012

"A line is a dot that went for a walk"

-Paul Klee

This is the cutest quote I've ever heard.

The sweet, humid air is heavy with the promise of summer. I have less than a month left of school.

I've been stealing little "treasures" from the art room supply closet: unused rolls of film, a tie-dye handkerchief, magazine clippings, old postcards, and black and white photographs from old art portfolios.

I think I'm happy.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Will and I went to prom together for the second time last weekend. It was fun dressing up. Will looked so handsome. I was happy to be by his arm all night as we roamed around the aquarium in-between courses of Caesar salad and warm pasta. We left early and sat out by the water. I think it was the first time all night we got to be alone. We kissed and watched a train roll by over the dark water. He said it felt like a dream.

Then we went to post-prom back at our school. I ate fondue and lemon gelato and accidentally poured myself decaf coffee. I stole two little fake candles. Will, two of his friends, his sister and I sat together at a table and talked and laughed for a while. I felt like I belonged with them. It made me so happy.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Today was my last-ever high school track meet.

Just as I had hoped (definitely not expected), I got my personal record on the mile! (About 6:52.) I felt energized and free and it was probably the best possible way to conclude my high-school track career.

It was drizzly and dark today. The heavy canopy of green leaves made it even darker. My favorite type of weather, I think.

Will didn't come to school today. It made me sad.

I love him, though. I should stop trying to make him feel guilty when he's too depressed to come to school and see me.

I think tomorrow will be better.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The current state of my body (an inventory of abnormalities):

right pointer finger wrapped in a dirty bandage; I slammed it into a car door a few days ago.
fading bruise above my left knee; height suggests I walked into something.
calloused toes.
bitten fingernails; perhaps for the first time since I was nine.
unkempt eyebrows, matted hair (I have yet to brush it today).
sore lower back (a story to be told later).

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

My mother just came to talk to me about college.

I won't admit it to anyone, not even Will, that I want to be close to him. I want good vibes and prestige and a close proximity to those I love.

Which to follow... the pursuit of love of the pursuit of my dreams? Can't I do both?

I've submitted my deposit to the University of Vermont, a happy, cold place with friendly people. I'm still awaiting a final verdict from Fordham. I want to make my father proud. I want to be near Will.

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes.



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