Monday, July 16, 2012

that girl
that awful girl
who throws things
and yells
and never
has her hair braided every day
in two perfect plaits
and I imagine
every morning
her loving mother
stroking her cheek
and sitting on her bed
as her delicate hands work at her curls
and make those two

Thursday, July 12, 2012

I thought everything was ok.
I changed my url.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Today I bought a yellow mug and package of ibuprofen. I had three coffees. All from different places.

I've been working at the Girl Scout day camp I went to when I was a child. The girls call me Bandana, and I teach them songs and start their box stitches for them.

There is not a single person there that I dislike.

I'm acquiring a penchant for one-piece bathing suits and things with moons on them.

Will's in North Carolina and I miss him a lot.

This has been a brief update.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

So now. I'm 18.

An adult. A graduate of high school.

If I wanted to, I could swagger up to the counter of the nearest convenience store and say, "hit me with a pack of smokes: Marlboro Reds."
I'd confidently present to them my expired learner's permit.
Just 3 days past my 18th birthday.
I bet they'd laugh.

June 20th was my last legal day of adolescence.
James kept on reassuring me that I'm still a kid. 
It's how you think, he said.

On the eve of my birthday, I conducted a ceremony.
I was outside, and I knew that midnight was only a few minutes away. The gentle movement of crickets and fireflies and warm air felt like a final lullaby. I rolled our yellow bicycle out from under the porch and pedaled to the top of the hill on my road. It felt strange to do. I couldn't see my own hands.

Once I reached the top, I turned the bicycle around and pushed off. I could barely feel the ground move under my feet as I rolled down the hill and back into my driveway.

For those few seconds, I'm almost sure I knew something that I didn't know before.


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