Monday, July 16, 2012

that girl
that awful girl
who throws things
and yells
and never
ever
ever
listens
has her hair braided every day
in two perfect plaits
and I imagine
every morning
her loving mother
stroking her cheek
and sitting on her bed
as her delicate hands work at her curls
and make those two
perfect
plaits

Thursday, July 12, 2012

I thought everything was ok.
I changed my url.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Today I bought a yellow mug and package of ibuprofen. I had three coffees. All from different places.

I've been working at the Girl Scout day camp I went to when I was a child. The girls call me Bandana, and I teach them songs and start their box stitches for them.

There is not a single person there that I dislike.

I'm acquiring a penchant for one-piece bathing suits and things with moons on them.

Will's in North Carolina and I miss him a lot.

This has been a brief update.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

So now. I'm 18.

An adult. A graduate of high school.

If I wanted to, I could swagger up to the counter of the nearest convenience store and say, "hit me with a pack of smokes: Marlboro Reds."
I'd confidently present to them my expired learner's permit.
Just 3 days past my 18th birthday.
I bet they'd laugh.

June 20th was my last legal day of adolescence.
James kept on reassuring me that I'm still a kid. 
It's how you think, he said.
12-year-old-wisdom.

On the eve of my birthday, I conducted a ceremony.
I was outside, and I knew that midnight was only a few minutes away. The gentle movement of crickets and fireflies and warm air felt like a final lullaby. I rolled our yellow bicycle out from under the porch and pedaled to the top of the hill on my road. It felt strange to do. I couldn't see my own hands.

Once I reached the top, I turned the bicycle around and pushed off. I could barely feel the ground move under my feet as I rolled down the hill and back into my driveway.

For those few seconds, I'm almost sure I knew something that I didn't know before.

beautiful

 
 
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