Saturday, May 18, 2013

Last Saturday Chris invited me to see his band play at a house show. The air was foggy and dark. He greeted me on the porch, gave me a hug. I asked him how he had been. I don't remember what he said.

He played two songs about me. He didn't look my way, but I know he knew I was there.

We broke away from everyone after the show and walked to a park. We stood on a bridge for a little while, taking swigs from my burnett's and chain smoking my camels. I showed him how I like grinding cigarettes on the side of things and watching the sparks. We threw our butts into the water.

I asked him what was on his mind. Nothing.

We kept on walking. We saw a skatepark and decided to go inside. We climbed to the top of a halfpipe and   sat on the side. We sat in silence for a minute before he moved my hair behind my shoulder and kissed me.

What happened, Chris?

I don't know. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

He held my hand and looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world. So I kissed him back.

We had sex for the first time on that halfpipe. Probably for the last time, too.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Last night I drank vodka from the bottle and three sober boys let me kiss them.

Even though I touched their lips after mine parted to say goodbye, each one meant something a little different from the last.

I climbed to the roof of two different buildings and now I have scrapes on my knees. It was too cloudy to see the stars.

I go home tomorrow. 

Things will be different from when I left them last.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

So I'm going to spend the summer in Burlington, and it's going to be the best summer of my life. It will be marked by days spent listening to Real Estate and smoking on the back porch and biking down to the bay and jumping into the cold water. We'll spend our warm nights drinking cheap beer and walking down to the Radio Bean, our summer boys on our arms.


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