Sunday, April 27, 2014

I've been sitting in the library for about an hour reading about people's drug experiences online under the guise of productivity because I'm writing my final romanticism paper on confessions of an english opium-eater. 

I kind of had sex with a girl for the first time last night in a stranger's bathroom. The phrase "sexual debut" keeps on coming to mind.

it was fun and felt "right." I feel like for some people hooking up with a girl would be really weird and unnatural-feeling but it didn't feel that way for me at all

we were really drunk kept on asking each other "are you sure you're okay with this?" and we always answered affirmatively and really enthusiastically

 I slept in her bunk bed and kissed her cheek when I left this morning

I love how "soft" girls are, in terms of their disposition and their hair and skin

I feel like this adds some sort of "legitimacy" to my open-ended///indifferent sexuality even though I know experience doesn't determine that

I'm still sitting in the library but now all I want to do is sit outside on a sunny day and smoke opium and kiss more pretty girls

Monday, April 21, 2014

sometimes I wish I could hold your hand and show you music I’m excited about but you never apologized for ruining everything and I hate you

(I don't hate you)

Friday, April 18, 2014

smoked a bowl and ate 25mg vyvanse this morning with my cereal

been spending too much time alone

(I had a dream about ryan this morning)

Thursday, April 10, 2014

tell myself im fine because every morning I have an orange
round and bright like the sun
my glowing disposition

Saturday, April 5, 2014

I haven't written here in so long.

I currently have an increasing distrust and disappointment in the people of the world, but it's only making me more motivated to change things. I've been caring less about what people think and more about what people feel.

I've been sick all week. I've decided to quit smoking cigarettes if this is what bronchitis feels like.

I woke up this morning with tangled hair, in my underwear and the same shirt from last night. I miss having a boyfriend. This school sometimes feels like a sea of people.


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