I used to think that if you had a tall enough ladder, you could climb to the moon.

☀K☁

The first time I visited a contemporary art museum, I was five years old. I don’t remember the name of the museum, but I do recall that museums were dull places. I was dreading a day with paintings of trees and mountains; I already knew their color and texture and how all would seamlessly blend into the other. I then realized how dazzlingly unpredictable art could be. That day, I saw robots crafted from kitchen utensils. Teapot spouts became elephant noses. Whisks became hands. The cold metal became character and life. The ordinary was given an intense personality. I learned that “things” aren’t what they seem, and that art was a road, maybe my road, to a richer understanding of life.

College essays make me sound so pretentious.

☀K☁

Things here have changed a little bit.

But it's good. It's just what I needed. A little bit of privacy, and the past tucked away.

I hope everybody has had a wonderful holiday season. I had a good day today. Giving is lovely, getting is lovely, and the smell of pine needles and cinnamon is even lovelier.

☀K☁

You shouldn't expect anyone to look after you or understand you.

We really are all alone.

☀K☁

sorry my posts have been whiny

Sometimes I think I have no pride. I let people step on me when they shouldn't, and I let it go because I don't want a fight.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

The truth hurts and I hate it.

Instead of protecting my feelings, you want to express the entire truth and it makes me want to cry.

I just want you to let me have my ignorance.

☀K☁

Sometimes it scares me how dramatically one person can pull me like a feather in the tide.

Doris Day - "Daydream"

☀K☁

So I had a terrible start to a good weekend.

I called my dad sobbing on Friday afternoon, absolutely positive that I was going to get fired from my dumb job as a cashier at the local pharmacy. I've been continuing to make dumb mistakes and get berated, making me look incredibly careless. Thursday I had my "third strike" when I accidentally charged a customer 93 cents. I know. 93 cents. I cried and came home and just slept all afternoon.

Saturday, I got to see Will sing at his town's Christmas tree lighting, and I spent the rest of the evening with him.

On Sunday I went to see The Nutcracker Ballet in New York with my cousin and aunt. Everything was Christmas-y and wonderful. We went to a restaurant afterward where I had an awesome caramelized pear salad and scalloped potatoes. Also, the movie premiere of "War Horse" was beginning at Avery Fisher hall. There was a red carpet and paparazzi and everything (we even saw Steven Spielberg). We then came back on the train and ate frozen yogurt from 16 Handles :)

But I guess the end was terrible too, because I'm sitting in bed and I feel miserably ill. Ugh.

☀K☁

As she was berating me for fucking up again, I noticed a brown speck in her green eye.

☀K☁

I cried because I can't do anything right.

But he kissed my eyelids and told me it was going to be ok.

Maybe it will be, I don't know.

☀K☁